rancherwriterpoet

Poetry, musings, reflections, life

Archive for the tag “football”

WHAT BUGS YOU?

In the wonderful world we live in, I have noticed several different varieties of bugs.In my latest edition of Cosmopolitan magazine, the term “fashion bug” is in Vogue, (pun intended). To be a “fashion bug” one must be up to date with the latest fashions. One could be described as a “Fashionista”. There are certain retail establishments that cater to “Fashionistas” or as I call them, “Fashion bugs”. They may not cure the “bug”; however, it is treatable with “medication”. This rarely attacks men.

fashionista

Another type of “bug” is the “Ladybug”. This is a petite little creature.  But it ain’t no bug. It’s a beetle. For my purposes, I’m calling it a “bug”. Of course, this is not the same kind of bug as a “Fashion bug”, in that there is no condition that needs treatment. I just threw this in for a little variety in my post.

lady-bugs-ladybugs-32773963-1800-1200

There is another “bug” in which you may be familiar. Youngsters of all ages have watched this movie star for generations.  He is the “Cwazy Wabbit”, Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd’s arch enemy. The “bug” brought many a laugh from me as I grew up. It was a wonderful time at a Saturday “pitcher” show to watch old westerns and Bugs Bunny cartoons.  Treatment for this “malady” is to sit through the Cartoon Network shows on Saturday morning.

bugs_bunny_by_rhibarb-d4o7cum

This time of year there is always the dreaded “flu bug” floating around. This is a difficult and sometimes dangerous “bug” to say the least and not a bug to mess around with. Get your flu shots.

The FBI and CIA and NSA and who knows what other government agencies use “bugs”. Of course if you’ve nothing to hide then there is nothing to worry about, (Or is there?)

If you travel often, stay in hotels, B & B’s, Hostels, then, you should know about to possibility of the dreaded “bedbug”.  This is not a subject I wish to spend any time writing about.  Just know that it is a “bug”. ‘Nuff” said.

There are bugs all around us. Day in and day out, bugs everywhere.  There is one “bug” in particular that I have been having a bit of a problem with lately. It usually begins late into the night, somewhere between the hours of 3 and 5 A.M. I awaken to the nocturnal urge of having to go to the bathroom. This happens when one reaches a certain age, (To be determined). That however is not the “bug” I’m talking about.

When I return to the bed and attempt to fall back to sleep, I am deluged with thoughts of what I need to be engaged in on the following morning or other things that take over my mind. The “sleep bug” avoids me and that bugs me.

awake-in-bed

This brings up the subject of the “Napbug”. What is a “Napbug?”  When the “sleep bug” avoids us during the night before, then the “Napbug” attacks. Usually in the middle of the afternoon and especially on a Sunday afternoon. You may try to avoid it however, it is a strong symptom and very difficult to overcome. You may wish to simply give in. I find one of the best ways to “give in” on Sunday afternoon is to warm up reading the morning paper in the afternoon. This puts one in the mood and gently persuades the eyelids to falter. Be sure to put the television on a golf channel. This is unlike a football or baseball game. The crowd does not cheer a lot. They whisper and this helps with the mood. A leather recliner is of upmost importance. The “Rancherette” is probably in her craft room and thus the room is quiet. If the sun is coming in through the blinds, then close them slightly. “Voila”, before you know it, the “Napbug” has completely taken over your body. It is like the “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”.

As I write this, it is not Sunday afternoon, there is no golf match on the tube, the sun is not shining, I do not have a leather recliner only a fabric type and of course the Sunday Morning News is not out yet. But, somehow, the “Napbug” is attacking. I must end this conversation. I have something to do.

shirtless-man-asleep-chair-illustration-depicting-recliner-61805417                 a_man_sleeping_in_his_recliner_snoring_loudly_royalty_free_clipart_picture_110523-050164-966053

Be careful out there, it’s a “buggy” world.

Pete Robertson                                                                                                                                           March 2017

Federal Holidays

Today is January 2, 2017. Considering that yesterday was Sunday, January 1st, 2017 and New Year’s Day, I decided that if the Federal government can take the holiday on Monday, I will too. After all, I mostly do what my government says to do, especially when it comes to holidays. I observe every single one. That’s my right. I drive the speed limit, use my turn signals, (that’s a novelty), pay my taxes, (reluctantly), do not text and drive, nor do I miss a Dallas Cowboy game. I voted, (cried over my choices, but still voted) paid my mortgage on time, bought stuff on line, attempted to clean out the garage, but failed miserably, and helped “the Rancherette” with her chickens. The government did not tell me to do that. I volunteered.
As for Federal holidays, there are officially ten in the year 2017. I plan on taking every one of them. If the holiday falls on a Saturday, then it is observed on Friday. If it falls on Sunday, it is observed on Monday. Rest assured, I will observe them. I also noticed that certain holidays have been shifted to a Monday in order for observance of a three day weekend. Eight of the ten holidays for 2017 actually fall on a Monday or Friday. That accounts for twenty-four days (three day weekend x 8) of the year that can be non-productive. I plan on being non-productive for at least, oh say, twenty? And these do not even account for snow days or early dismissals. Living in Texas, we probably won’t be able to use any snow days or early dismissals from our government job. The school kids will dream, though.
I did not have black eyed peas and greens yesterday. I have tried it for, lo and behold, many years and the so-called good luck and prosperity that comes with this tradition has never materialized yet. So I skipped the southern delicacy. I settled for Mexican food. That type of food never gives me any good luck or prosperity either, but sometimes it does give me heartburn, especially the re-fried beans. Had the Barbeque joint been open, I would have opted for some good smoked BBQ brisket. There is nothing like a brisket dinner with beans, potato salad and Jalapeno peppers. Well, maybe a little heartburn. Sadly, no good luck and prosperity with these foods either.
I read that George Washington’s favorite food was Cherry pie. Martin Luther King’s favorite was pecan pie (That’s Puhcon pie, not Peecan pie) and July 4th is famous for baseball, hot dogs and Apple pie.(And of course, Chevrolet). Notice that these are also federal holidays.
Looks like pie makes my list of good foods. I am in favor of eating good food. Being from Texas, we have a very interesting assortment of good foods. Southern Fried Chicken is one of my favorites, Chicken and Sausage Gumbo, another and cornbread. (Leave out the sugar, please) The list is endless and I like them all. I suppose my favorite is BBQ, so I am choosing to make one New Year’s resolution this year; I resolve to eat more BBQ, to heck with the heartburn. I think I can keep this one.
I hope you resolve to experience this New Year in good health and an abundance of happiness. I hope it will be an enjoyable one for you and your family. 2016 was a heck of a year. It certainly had its ups and downs around our backyard. But we experienced it and are moving on to 2017. I hope you do as well.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, FOLKS.

Important Inventions I Like

We have two brand new baby chickens in the brooder and I was concerned about their warmth, so I got up out of sleep to check them out. They were fine however, I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. My mind began to wander, that happens a lot.

Anyway, I spent a good part of the night thinking about what is the world’s most important invention. I do not know which the most important one is, but I have my ideas.

My first idea of that subject is the wheel. You surely have seen the cartoon character riding what appears to be a unicycle. A solid stone carved into a round shape that resembles a unicycle. For a cave dweller, I think he was pretty good at keeping his balance. I have difficulty in walking, let alone, riding a unicycle.

But, if you think about it, the wheel led to many other inventions. Just look around you and see how many things have a round shape like a wheel. Pies, cakes and cookies are but a few. Everybody knows that pie are round, cornbread are square. I don’t believe I have ever seen a square wheel. Flat maybe, but not square.

But, if there were no wheels, we would have to walk everywhere we go. I already mentioned the balance thing .We would not have vehicles, if there were no wheels. If we had no vehicles, there would be no car radios, if no car radios, then no satellite radio, no satellite radio, no Blue Grass station to listen without commercials, and so forth. Stagecoaches had wheels, but no satellite radio. And GPS. If they had, then maybe they would known about the robbers waiting in the hills. And did I mention that radios have round knobs? So, you see, wheels are very important.

I don’t know if this qualifies as an invention or not. But, in the early days of Adam and Eve, they wore no clothes. After that old serpent seduced them into eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they discovered they were naked. They covered themselves with fig leaves. I looked into that and discovered that a Fig leaf does not cover as much as a Catalpa leaf. If it had been me, I would have used a catalpa leaf. In Texas, the Catalpa worms are famous for fishing bait. You look at these images and decide which would cover more.

Catalpa leaf                          Fig leaf

Catalpa Leaf

Fig leaf

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, God did not like that, so He expelled them from the Garden of Eden. I’m thinking they had it made in the shade and they really messed it up. But if clothes had not been invented, or discovered, whatever the case, then you can imagine the sights to which we might be subjected. Plus, here in North Texas, the weather is not conducive to running around in your birthday suit. In the summer, one may sunburn in places where the fig leaf would not cover. So, clothes are very important.

Next, we have the television remote control. This is important to the male species. Usually, the other gender is not remotely, (notice the play on words) concerned about the gadget. For example, with a remote, one can view two or more football games in the same picture. Or, you can switch back and forth between two different TV shows.

Do you remember when the father would tell the kid to get up and adjust the volume or change channels? That worked for other things as well. Like, get me a beer or fix me a sandwich. But those are other stories.

I remember; I was a kid once. Had to go outside and turn the antenna while my dad would yell from the window, “a little more right or that’s enough.”

Anyway, the remote was a very important invention.

As I got into writing this piece, my mind began to wander and think of many more inventions that are worthy of being on my list. I need to keep this short so I will save those for another article. In the meantime, if you have a list of favorite inventions, please let me know. I would love to hear them.

I hope you have a wheely good day.

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