rancherwriterpoet

Under the Kitchen Sink

I am such a creature of habit. The news comes on around here at 4 P.M., Monday through Friday. It airs for two and a half hours. There are four local news channels in my area and I switch back and forth so I don’t miss a thing.

They all have the usual assortment of local, national and international news. I don’t know, some of it may be “fake news”, I watch the stories anyway. Let me preface this post by saying,  do not take this personally. I know this may upset some of my friends, but it is not meant to be troubling to you, and may even appear sensitive for some, but it is merely my take of news in general.

Some of the programs touch me in such a way that I have dreams about them. Sometimes the dreams could be described as “nightmares”.  I’m not saying this particular dream was a nightmare, although it could be for some. My question to you, the reader, is, “Do you ever have thoughts or musings about such?

Our news sources regularly report on the happenings of the President. He is a big fan of social media, in case you haven’t noticed. There are many subjects he covers on an hourly basis, or so it seems. He sometimes embellishes his tweets and is generally called out for those comments. Now, I am not judging any of these situations, only commenting my view point.

One story, in particular, caught my attention. The other night, Mr. Trump, our current resident of the White House, stated that he was going to ban bump stocks, an attachment to a semi-automatic rifle that creates a type of machine gun. I do not own a machine gun or any type of semi-automatic rifle. My little .22 caliber rifle is used primarily around here for protection from varmints, predators and slimy snakes. I do not like snakes. My .22 is a bolt action rifle and has a six cartridge magazine  It would not be capable of mounting a bump stock. Machine guns have been illegal in this country for quite some time. I have never seen a machine gun except on the TV series , “The Untouchables” shown in 1959. I’m pretty sure they were only props. Guess that dates me quite well.

I used my trusty .22 some time back to dispose of a skunk. Skunks are persona non gratis around the Fuzzy Chicken Farm. Once he was no longer kicking, the remains had to be disposed of. That was a problem. The smell of a skunk really lingers for a long time. And the location of said animal was very close to the back door. “Doo, doo, doo, Looking out my back door”, my apologies to J.C. Fogerty of Credence Clearwater”.                                      You know, I kinda like that song, and listening to the words very carefully it reminds me of the current situation in Washington, D.C. Just had to throw that in.

So, I watched the news that particular evening, and “bump stocks” stuck in my mind. Like an ear worm. (Note the song above) As luck or fate would have it, or whatever you call it, I fell asleep wondering about my “workload”  the coming day.

Then a knock at the front door and the doorbell rang. The dog began barking. Dogs do not like big brown trucks, or garbage trucks, or doorbells. I jumped from my bed and raced to the door, with the dog getting there first. I restrained him and peered through the blinds to see who it was. It was Mr. Trump. I opened the door and asked if I could be of any assistance, thinking he was probably lost. Now I live in the country and to come to my house one must be on a mission. No one gets lost at my house. It is not a destination location. One must have a reason to come this far out.

So, I asked Mr. Trump what his reason was for visiting my house in the middle of the night. He replied, ”I’m here for your bump stock”. “I don’t have a bump stock,” I said. He said, “it is a crime to lie to a Federal authority.” By this time, I am getting nervous. I timidly asked, “Do you have a warrant?” He replied, “no, I don’t need one but I do need your bump stock, so hand it over.”  “You can search my house if you want to but I don’t have a bump stock”, I said. I must have convinced him. The next thing I knew, he was gone. I looked under the kitchen sink and there was a bump stock I did not know I had. Moments later, my bladder called. Whew, what a relief! (in more ways than one)

I think I will start watching Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy, well, maybe not Jeopardy. Just gonna restrict my news watching habits a bit. Or maybe listen to some more Credence Clearwater. Becareful watching the news.

This isn’t a Christmas Piece, however, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas.