Poetry, musings, reflections, life

I’m Not Complaining, However…

I approach this posting with delicate sensitivity. It includes what some might believe to be private information. I could be embarrassed by this. You could be embarrassed by this. It is possible it may even be censored. Even in the United States.

Then there are those who might say this is TMI. However, it is a story is that IMT (I must tell).

First, let me say upfront, the “Rancherette” is an excellent housekeeper. And, as such, she always keeps a variety of cleaning agents around our home. She does such an outstanding job In spite of the “Rancher’s” habits because she is always up-to-snuff with the latest cleaning equipment and supplies.  The vacuum cleaner is a top line machine. There are mechanized mops and dust rags and  even a especially designed gadget for cleaning ceiling fans.The “Swiffer WetJet” contraption certainly is an excellent device for hardwood and ceramic tile floors. That same company also makes a dusting tool with top quality materials. And, I dare not forget the polishing resources. Then, there is the famous “scrubbing bubbles”, my favorite. I can only imagine what these little fellows could do if they really put their mind to it.

However, I do have one complaint about an item in the “Rancherette’s” repertoire.

Allow me to explain. I do not know of a single person who does not have a phobia about something. The very definition of phobia in the Greek language means fear. Consequently, everyone I know has a fear of something. In one of my earlier postings, “Pogonotomy-A Male Rite of Passage”, I spoke about the fear of beards. If you do not believe you have a fear of anything, then take a stroll through Google for an indexed list of phobias. You are sure to find one that fits your situation.

So, this is where it could get embarrassing.  In the closet in my bathroom is a plethora of the aforementioned cleaning supplies. While the “bathroom toilet bowl cleaner” is certainly one of the cleaning tools, it is not in the closet.  It is placed strategically (by someone who shall remain nameless) beside the toilet bowl. Accessibility, I suppose. It is there in plain sight. I think it should be in the closet. It stands all alone within my view. I swear I believe it watches me. There are times when one desires a bit of privacy. This is one of those times. Now you must be thinking I am a nut case. What could possibly be so weird about a bottle of “bathroom toilet bowl cleaner?”

Here is my problem. That bottle of “bathroom toilet bowl cleaner?” Well, it greatly resembles a gnome in my opinion.

Toilet Bowl Cleaner   Gardern Gnome

I do not like gnomes. I do not like gnomes that watch me. I do not like the everyday garden gnomes that people place in their gardens. I do not like gnomes that hide in dark places waiting to scare the bejabbers out of me. I guess you could say it was the little gnome that could. I do not like gnomes that ‘travel’ from place to place. It is only a matter of time before they team up to slaughter humankind. I have Gnomophobia.

I believe the only cure for this phobia is to put that ugly gnome-a-cleaner in its place.



Hope you have a gnome-free day.

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