When a person has the aches and pains as we do around here, it hints at an advancement of age. Now, far be it from me to suggest such a thing, however, in my heart I think I am more than qualified to speak about that subject.
The aging of our population arrives in such a manner that we often fail to realize it. One moment you are a freshman in high school and then all of a sudden you are attending your 55th high school class reunion. I mean, this thing did not just creep up on me; it knocked me over like a bowling ball whacks the pins in a bowling alley. It came with a bang. It clearly was a strike.
In the days before my existence, there were traders and traveling salesmen who went from town to town, hawking their wares, anything from cabinets to fabrics to suspenders, even underwear. They sold their products from the back of a wagon, sometimes sell and run. Also high on the list was cure-all medicines. Horse liniment was a top seller, because it was “good” for the skin and worked miracles on aches and pains for both humans and animals.
Of course, the travelling salesman also used his rather easy-going lifestyle and his manly abilities to ply his wares to unsuspecting farmers, to take advantage of their beautiful daughters; however, that’s another story.
For aches and pains, one can always call the doctor for an appointment to investigate aches and pains such as twinges, throbbing, hurts and tenderness; however, the primary care provider will first ask you to come into his/her office. The days are long gone when a doctor would call in a prescription, or heaven forbid, make a house call.
After waiting two weeks, the appointment finally arrives. First, an assortment of tests will be administered, blood will be drawn and he/she will probe in the general vicinity of the discomfort. It will not accomplish much other than a bit more excruciating pain. He/she will then wait for the test results to come back from the laboratory and upon such results two weeks later; (if they remember to call) he/she will then refer you to a specialist. You will make an appointment for three weeks later and upon working you in to see the specialist, he/she will then proceed to administer the same tests and lab work as the primary care health provider did the previous visit to that office. This is in addition to the co-pays at both offices. In the meantime, you are directed to take two aspirin/ Ibuprofen/acetaminophen, (whatever you are not allergic to) every four hours and rest. If you do not feel any better, call them back.
You can visit the local pharmacy and walk the aisles looking for something that will alleviate your symptoms. As you make your way through the store, you may pass the perfume department. In this section, one can purchase fragrances for men or women. They have a large variety of such scents meant to attract the opposite sex. In fact, they have more varieties of fragrances than Walmart has wine choices. I am not suggesting that wine will cure any of the aches and pains but both do stimulate the senses.
So, the other night as the “Rancher” and “Rancherette” prepared for bed, the subject came up about our aches and pains. (I realize I am one of her pains for which I know of no cure) I recently, gave the “Rancherette” a rather distinctive bottle of perfume for Christmas. That did help resolve a portion of her pain and put a feather in my cap at the same time.
However, there was another scent emanating from the room. I could not discern this particular smell.
I immediately wondered if it was “Lancome La Vie Est Belle Eau de Parfum”, perhaps “Dolce&Gabbana Eau de Toilette”, or maybe even “Eau de Cologne”. However, I was mistaken. The “Rancherette” informed me that the name of this particular product was “Eau de IcyHot”. There was much laughter in the bed.
Me, I think I prefer, “Eau de Ben Guay”.
Have an ache-free day.