rancherwriterpoet

Pogonotomy

Pogonotomy-A Male Rite of Passage

I cut myself shaving the other day. That isn’t too unusual for me. I am old school, in that I still use a shaving cream and a blade to scrape the fuzz from my face. My choice of cream is actually a gel. My razor of choice is (notice the plug here) a “Gillette Mach 3”.

I did my research and discovered that since the first man arrived on the earth, he has had to decide whether to grow a beard or take it off. Cavemen used pieces of sharpened flint, clamshells and even shark’s teeth. It doesn’t say how they acquired the teeth. My decision would have been to grow a beard.

Sometime during the Bronze Age, they began making primitive razors of iron, bronze and even gold. The ancient Greeks used iron blades with a long handle and developed the “cut-throat” razor. In 1900, most men were either shaved by the local barber (your trusted confidante, wielding a cut-throat razor), or periodically at home when required, rather than regularly. (Notice the “when required” bit)

Around 1901, King Camp Gillette invented the safety razor with disposable blades. He gave away the razors to encourage men to purchase the blades. Do you ever notice that the razor blade companies practically give away the razors? Hummmmm…                      So there you have it, a brief history of the razor. I think this piece qualifies as educational, don’t you?

Anyway, all that got me to thinking about the first time I ever shaved. I’m not as old school as my stepfather, who used a Gillette double edge blade with a shaving brush. Seems I recall that he used a type of bar soap and the more he stirred the brush in the mug the more lather he got. However, I was lad of thirteen when he came into my life. I never had the privilege of being tutored in the fine art of shaving. It was a trial and error for me. And that did not come until much later as you shall see below.

I’m also not as old school as my grandfather, who used a straight edge or cut-throat razor (see above) although I do remember the razor strap he used to sharpen his razor, among other things. My grandfather also had a shaving brush and mug. In fact, I have that old mug to this day. I think it must be over a hundred years old.

Now my son is not old school at all. He uses an electric shaver. Mr. Schick invented the electric razor around 1921. I tried them when I was younger but they were too “cutting edge” for me. Just doesn’t have the right feel. Besides, it doesn’t seem right to shave while you are driving down the road.

Shaving is a true manly art. It is a rite of passage into manhood. Many a “little shaver” has stood beside his father with his own “razor” and shaving cream. It was practice. You know, practice makes perfect. I do not recall my son standing beside me as I shaved. I’m sorry about that. It is a memory I missed and regret.

My first shaving experience began when I entered the U.S. Navy at the ripe old age of seventeen. I was the proverbial 108-pound weakling. Barely snuck in, as the minimum weight was 105. Now that I think about it, I believe the recruiter had his foot on the scales. Anyway, I had never shaved a day in my life. There was nothing on my face to scrape off. At least that is what I thought until Chief Petty Officer Amadei, my boot camp drill instructor, told me otherwise. To this day, I can remember his exact words.      “There will no recruit in my Navy with peach fuzz on his face”.                              

He spoke these words on my very first morning inspection. I remember standing at the end of my bunk at attention, in my skivvies. (Underwear for those of you who do not understand navy lingo, they did not fit either, too big). This clearly was meant to embarrass me, which it did.

There was a slight problem. I had not brought a razor with me. However, Chief Amadei fixed me up. He loaned me one. I think it had a used blade and on my tender face, it completely worn out my skin. At the risk of incurring the wrath of Chief Amadei, I practically begged him to allow me to purchase one at the commissary. He finally relented and sent me to the supply store. I was very grateful and my skin thanked him.

To this day, I believe I began shaving at too early of an age. I kinda liked “peach fuzz”. I tried growing a beard once, but not much ever sprouted. I did manage to cultivate a mustache. I kept it. At least I do not have to shave above my lip. Danger lurks  there.

That’s my story of when and how I learned to shave. You probably have some stories of your own. I would be interested in hearing all about them. For you ladies, I’m sure a few of you also have stories about the first time you began scraping your knees or under your arms. I probably maybe would like to hear about them. Maybe. OK, maybe not. Oh, what the heck. Help me out, guys.

In case you are wondering about Pogonotomy, look it up. After all, this is an educational piece.

Have a great day.

The Information Age

The Information Age

I am sitting at my computer, trying to pick a subject for my next blog. I happened to look up at the books on my shelf. The first one that caught my eye was “Breeding Dogs for Dummies”.

That is an interesting title. Over the years, I have seen many such books. In fact, over 1600 titles have been published and is a worldwide success in many different languages. The original “For Dummies” book was published in 1991 as “DOS for Dummies” to help the majority of computer illiterates such as myself, understand DOS. I never made the connection.

“Breeding Dogs for Dummies” was an asset when my first experience with a canine pregnancy came in the winter of 2010/2011. The book is not written for dogs, rather for “dummies” like me. Besides, I don’t think dogs need any information on breeding. I kind of thought they had that firmly entrenched in their behavior.

The next book I saw was one titled “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Writing Poetry”. This book is written in the same vein of “For Dummies”. In fact the guide that brought the series to popularity was The Complete Idiot’s Guide to DOS , covering the same subject.

According to Wikipedia, DOS, short for “Disk Operating System”, is an acronym for several closely related operating systems that dominated the IBM PC compatible market between 1981 and 1995. I noticed that the United States has a DOS system. It is called the United States Department Of State. See the similar theme here? That seems to be a closely related operating system that dominates… sorry, I got off on another subject.

Since I dabble in writing poetry, I use the …Idiot’s Guide… book quite a bit. It is very informative and written in such language that even an “idiot” like me can understand. Apparently, idiots and dummies are related.

Among my book collection is a Dictionary and Thesaurus. I also, have a rhyming dictionary. These do not get as much use as they used to. With the click of a mouse, I can pull up a Thesaurus or a dictionary, and http://www.rhymezone.com . This is invaluable because it is so much faster.

I think back to the times when I did every bit of my writings with a pen and a journal, using the familiar books to correct my spelling, definitions and grammar. I did use a typewriter infrequently, however, I was never proficient at typing. Too many mistakes. Nowadays, with spell-check, it is much easier to correct my work.

I see that I have numerous telephone books, many out of date. I wonder why I keep them. Some are for areas in which I do not live. I can’t destroy them, though, I might want to look up an old acquaintance in that area. Forget that I can also look up numbers, area codes, etc. on the computer.

My wife recently received an Amazon Kindle as a gift. This is one of those EBook readers. You can purchase books, magazines, newspapers, etc., to read from the screen. You can even download free books. And It has its own light. You can read in the bed and not disturb your partner.

Saves a lot of time, too. You don’t have to turn a page, or bend a page over to mark your place. you don’t need a book mark. It is going to save a lot of trees. I suppose the people who make bookmarks will lose their jobs, but ain’t technology wonderful. (spell-check says “ain’t” ain’t a word)

My bookshelf has many interesting books. I suppose I could choose a book, read it and write a book report. Seems, that is what got me interested in writing in the first place. Reading a book! I recall, back in the day, That is what we did. Read a book and write a book report. Mrs. Springfield, my old English teacher, God rest her soul, spurred me to read. While I sometimes neglected to follow her advice, I’m thankful she did.

Do I resent the modern ways. Probably! Will I change and revert back to those times. Probably…not.

In the meantime, read this modern version of an electronic marvel, but on occasion, check your own bookshelf, pick up an old book, sit back and relax as you turn the pages one at a time. In case you have forgotten how,  I suggest you begin this way,                 “You place the book flat on a table, title side up, and spin it around until you can read the title. If your neck is painful or uncomfortable, try spinning the book around a little more”. Now you’re getting the picture. Don’t break the spine. It ruins the book.

Have a great day.

Seasonal Sizzling Summer Spell

Just in time for the Fourth of July

 I always liked the spring. Temperatures are moderate and refreshing. It really gives you the opportunity to defrost from the cold winter and prepare yourself for the long hot summer. Of course, if you live in Texas, the spring doesn’t last very long.  

 Someone once said, “Texas has four seasons. You begin with winter, when spring arrives; you turn off the furnace, open the windows and let the spring season begin. Then the next day, yes, I said next day, you close the windows, turn on the air conditioner and let the summer begin. In the fall, you reverse the procedure”. There you have it, four seasons inTexas.

 In the winter when it is really cold, many have extra blankets or coats. In addition, we can wear layered clothing. This helps to warm the body. However, when it is really hot, one cannot remove enough clothing to cool the body. Well, not decently, anyway.

I have read about parts of the world where clothing is optional on beaches. I’m not going there. I don’t think I could do that. I don’t think my body is supposed to be exposed and even it were, I’m not interested in sunburning any part of it. Not only that, The climate is still very hot.

 I am envious of those who live in a more pleasant climate. Some people have winter homes where it is nice and warm with summer homes where it is nice and cool. Not that I would ever leave Texas, but sometimes it would be nice to wake up with the temperature hovering around 55-60, not the 80-85 we have here. The only problem is finding that perfect place. Everyone has an opinion as to the best climate. I’m looking for cool places year round.

 My delightful spouse and I watch the HGTV channel quite a bit. The network covers numerous quality programs. Some are geared to home improvement or landscaping designs. We particularly like those programs where people are interested in finding vacation homes or relocating to another state and even other countries. It gives us a view of how other people live. Many of those programs are situated in areas with a very mild climate. We find somewhat of an escape from our daily routines and an envious desire to move among those interesting and cool spots.

 Scientists tell us that we are experiencing global warming. I don’t know enough about that to offer an opinion, other than to say, in times past,Texas had 100 + degree summers and no one ever mentioned global warming back then. But that was before the internet was invented. Humph. I never knew.

 When I was growing up in the 1950’s, our home had no air conditioning. We relied on circulating fans and water-cooled fans to keep us cool. We called them, “swamp coolers”. It worked back then, well, not really good, but it was cooler.

Those who were fortunate to have an air system relied on window units. Most homes did not have any type of central air conditioning. Now on the other hand, the movie theatres touted, “cold air inside”. It made a lot of “cool” sense to hit the Saturday afternoon matinees. But the old timers would shrug their shoulders and refuse to install any type of air system.

After I was grown, married with three children and a central air system, I bought my mother and stepfather a window unit. They refused to use it, except when we visited. As soon as we left, they turned it off. They preferred their “swamp cooler”.

Cooling systems have certainly improved over the years. The problem now is the amount of electricity needed to operate those systems. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements detailing the amount of energy consumed by these modern miracles.

 Back last winter, the extreme cold caused power outages throughout the North Texas area. And because of the extreme cold, we were told to refrain from using too much electricity or risk more power outages. Just bundle up, they said.

 Now, here at the beginning of summer, because of the extreme heat, the power companies tell us to refrain from using too much electricity or risk more power outages. Just sweat more, they said. So which is it? Cold or hot?

 It must be global warming. The Polar bears are using “swamp coolers”. I’m getting mine out of storage. It worked back when.

In the meantime, as I sit under my air conditioner, thermostat set on 78º, (and still sweating) I surf the internet looking for that perfect climate. If you live there, let me know. I could use a brochure.                                                                           Whoa!!! I just received my electricity bill. Hurry with that brochure.

 Have a great 4th of July.   Eat watermelon.                                                                    Tradition, you know. Above all, stay cool.